Heart Eater

I’d already found the engagement ring my boyfriend Niles hid in his sock drawer. Now he was taking me on a romantic weekend getaway with a private dinner at the base of a waterfall. It was supposed to be the best day of my life, but now he’s dead and it’s all my fault.

I was ready to say yes. It’s all I could think about on the drive through the state park. My family never thought it would last, but I was going to prove them wrong. Dad called Niles a “pretty boy”, and every time he saw a Disney Princess he’d point and ask “Hey, isn’t that your boyfriend?”

I’d just smile and roll my eyes. They thought that just because Niles was handsome that I was being superficial for being with him, but he was so much more than that. He was kind, and smart, and funny, and even more important he made me feel like that’s exactly what I deserved.

Everything was perfect that night except me. ‘Something’ by the Beatles was playing on a handheld stereo, and a dozen candles were scattered on the ground around us. There was chilled champagne in the ice chest, and stars in the sky, and the love of my life getting out of his chair to drop to one knee.

“Umm,” probably wasn’t the answer he was expecting. It wasn’t what I was expecting to say either, but it was the best I could do.

“Umm?” he asked in disbelief. “I didn’t drive all the way out here for an ‘umm’.”

I was frozen. I’d rehearsed this moment a thousand times in my head, but my rehearsals hadn’t prepared me for the breathless terror of the actual moment. All I could think about was my dad’s words, wondering if it really was just his looks that I was attracted to.

In ten years, when he’s started to bald and put on weight, am I still going to think his jokes are funny? When we settle down and have kids and romantic moments like this are replaced by daily chores and routines, will I still look at him the same way? Or even more likely, what if he’s the one who gets bored of me?

“Umm,” I said again.

“Unbelievable,” he said. “Un-fucking believable.”

“What? I didn’t say no!”

“You didn’t have to.” He wasn’t kneeling anymore. He wasn’t even facing me—just staring off into the emptiness of night.

“It’s a serious question!” I could have said yes then, but I felt obliged to defend myself. “There’s nothing wrong with taking a moment to think.”

“Take all the time you need. I’m going for a walk.”

Again I had a chance. I could rush up to him and hug him and say of course I want to spend my life with you. But it only took him a few steps to exit the meagre light of the candles, and Niles was gone before I could gather my wits.

The CD finished playing and I was able to distinguish a strange plopping sound separate from the crash of the waterfall. My rapid breathing became louder, but it didn’t drown out the mumbling whisper from the dark water.

“Niles? Are you still there?”

The whispering grew louder—a low rasping voice that sounded nothing like Niles, coming just beyond the ring of light. I couldn’t make out every word, but a few were unmistakable.

“… your doubt… your fear… delicious.”

That last word sounded with particular clarity, drawn out and savored as though each syllable was tasted.

Niles was playing a trick to get back at me. That meant he couldn’t have taken my hesitation too seriously. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, but didn’t even have a chance to fully exhale before I heard the crack of twigs. Then a muffled swear—all the way up the hill we’d hiked in on.

“Niles, was that you?” I called, my own voice so feeble and insignificant in the looming wilds. “Come back! Let’s talk.”

“Alright. I’m coming.” That was from the hill again. So he hadn’t been the one whispering.

“I can tell you,” hissed the whisper. A stir of movement behind me. I spun just in time to catch something like a long slug disappearing beyond the light.

“How he feels,” the whisper came from the same place. “What he’s really after, and whether you can give it to him.”

I heard Niles stumble—still a fair distance away.

“Okay yeah,” I said. “I need to know.”

If a sound could curl like a smile, then that’s exactly what the hiss did. Then it was gone, its barely perceptible shadow slipping into the deeper darkness beyond.

“Hold on, I’m almost there,” Niles shouted from the same direction.

“Niles watch out!” It had only just occurred to me what I’d done. “There’s something out there—”

His scream overwhelmed the splashing water and filled the sky from horizon to horizon. Tortuous, guttural, and long enough that he had to pause to draw breath to begin screaming again.

I was rushing toward him as fast as I could, but I made slow progress as soon as I pitched into the blackness. I kept stumbling over hidden rocks or blindly charging through thick underbrush, led by nothing but his screams which seemed to go on forever.

But forever is a dream from which all are forced to wake, and he was silent by the time I found him. The slug I’d glimpsed rested on his chest, pulsing as it burrowed its way into his flayed chest cavity. It was as wide as a tree trunk, maybe four feet long, perhaps more depending how deeply it moved within Niles body.

“Do you still want to know?” The whisper came from the free end of the slug. “Everything he knew, everything he felt, his heart is not hidden from me.”

Would it be wrong to listen to this monster which feasted upon him? Or would it be disrespectful to turn away and forever lose his final thoughts? For the second time that night, I was frozen and said nothing.

“I can taste his admiration,” mused the creature. “From the first time he saw you, sitting alone reading a book. The intelligent focus on your face—the way the light played through your hair—he watched you for almost an hour before he worked up the courage to say hello.”

“He never told me he was watching…”

“I can taste his love,” it hissed. “Fresh from his heart, it fills me up. Enough to endure a hundred years of adversity. Until the night at the end of all days when age has stolen everything but the grace of your spirit, he would have loved you.”

I had to hear this. Even though I was crying, I wouldn’t leave. This was my solace and my punishment in one. The monster was silent for a long moment before it said:

“I love you too.”

It was enough of a shock to suspend my heaving sobs.

“With everything he was, I am,” it hissed. “I love you with all his heart.”

The creature pulsed. Then again, the ripple cascading up and down its fleshy mass as it wriggled free. Niles heart was in full view, raw and wet and still beating where it was clutched in the creature’s mouth. Then swallowing, the heart vanished still beating all the way down.

“I’m back,” the second mouth said, speaking with Nile’s voice as clear as the mountain air. “Let’s just start over, okay? Don’t overthink. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t be afraid. Will you marry me?”

I started to cry again. “Yes Niles. It was always yes.”

I wasn’t about to lose true love twice in one night. Besides, maybe now dad will finally shut up about me only loving him for his looks.